Unsolicited advice. These two words, many moms hear on a daily basis. These are also two words many people give on a daily basis. We all have opinions and ideas, but sometimes it is best to keep those opinions or that advice to ourselves. As a new mom, I cringe when people start a conversation with “if I were you I would…” or “if you raise him this way, he will turn out better. ”
News flash: you are not me, and I will not take the advice as if you were. Now don’t get me wrong, there is a time and place for you to give your opinion or advice, but at 8:30 am when my child is crying because his banana squished through his fingers is not the time for you to say, “you shouldn’t let him play with his food.”
Being a mom is one of the hardest, most rewarding jobs I have ever had. Some days I am not sure if my socks match or if my son has been fed properly. There are also days where I am proud of the mom I have become and know without a doubt that my child loves me. But one thing for sure as a mom, I struggle with taking unsolicited advice from people who are condescending or say things out of disrespect.
Being an older mom does not mean you have everything figured out. Same goes for new moms. I will be the first to say it is a daily learning experience. Things change everyday and the way things used to be aren’t necessarily realistic in this day in age. Also, being a mom in modern day is extremely difficult. We are mom shamed for being completely organic and mom shamed for buying generic. I love my child too much, I don’t love my child enough. Let them cry it out or don’t let them cry it out. Everyday there is controversy about how we should parent. But the last thing any mom wants is for someone to give advice as if we have no idea what we are doing or that we are completely unaware of the current situation. Things that work for one child are more than likely not going to work for the next.
We could all learn to step back and assess the situation before being so quick to give our opinion or advice. Because we all quickly forget how many people truly don’t want it, or may take offense to it. On the other hand, if you can truly help someone or if they ask for your opinion be sure to do so with a kind and sincere heart.
Have you ever received unsolicited advice as a mom? Share it with us!