Most women have experienced the big, bad, dark torment of mom guilt at one point or another in their life as a mom. It’s practically unavoidable. Just name a situation and you can feel guilty about it – bottle vs. breast, home school vs. public school, stay-at-home vs. working mom. Really, the choices are endless. In addition, for those of us who have children with on-going medical conditions, the guilt can come in extra special, heightened forms.
Let me paint you a picture of my latest trudge through the mire of mom guilt. My children both have Scoliosis. It’s kind of our “thing” in this family and we’ve been dealing with it for 10 years. Well, in the world of Scoliosis there are many, many paths when it comes to treatment. And, usually the best ones come with a hefty price tag. We have our preferred path – one that I am cofident in. However, with recent changes in insurance coverage, our “go-to” gold star bracing treatment now carries with it a hefty price tag. Over time, we could spend as much on bracing for my son with this treatment as a year of college or more. Oh, the dilemma!
As moms, we don’t like to compromise when it comes to our kids – but, let’s face it – sometimes we have to. In lieu of a magic crystal ball or a Delorean, many of the choices we make are more of a gamble than a sure thing. My husband and I need to decide if, given that his current level of Scoliosis is pretty mild, we might be able to get by with a less expensive, although less effective, treatment. But, if we are wrong, the even nastier successor of mom guilt will be sure to rear its ugly head down the road.
It’s not uncommon to feel blue from mom guilt, but it can make us feel stuck as well. We decided to gamble and keep it more affordable and more close to home, at least for now. My son has his new brace, but nobody is really thrilled with it. It’s not the gold standard we are used to. But, it will probably do the job. For me, it came down to this: when moving from point A to point B, both a corvette and a jalopy can get you there. The corvette may be more reliable and the ride smoother, but you’d have nothing to spend on a house when you got to point B. The Jalopy may emphasize every bump along the way and make you nervous that you won’t arrive safely, but, chances are, you will get to Point B and still have money left for a mortgage. OK, my son’s current brace is a little bit better than a Jalopy, but you get my point.
Sometimes we Moms have to compromise – and, it kills us to do so. And, even if we know we made the best decision for right here and right now, we still worry – have we done enough?
I guess I will see at his 6-month checkup.
Until then, I can’t look back. I will just have to await the learning experience that is to come. And, rely on my two best friends: mom prayers and mom instincts.