Infertility: When You’re Told Children Aren’t an Option

“When are you having your second child?” One of the most dreaded question for new parents who have battled infertility. It’s a question that comes from innocent people trying to have something to start a conversation. But it carries a larger meaning for those of us who have gone through the pain of infertility.

For two years my husband and I battled infertility.

There were many nights I stayed up crying at the thought of not having children naturally, being able to give my husband the children he had always prayed for, but most of all for the unfulfilled dreams of having my own family. This journey is still a very touchy subject. However, it is one that tested my faith and taught me to trust the path. 

 

Many people have no idea I battled this horrible nightmare. Many people will never understand the hurt or pain of being told children will not be possible naturally. And many people will never know the feeling of defeat when someone asks ” when are you going to have children?”

” I acted like it wasn’t a big deal, when really it was breaking my heart.”- Unknown {via michiganfertilityexpert.com} 

My son is truly a miracle. In July of 2016, I was told children were not an option. I would have to have some sort of help. This terrible news was after an invasive surgery in hopes of overcoming infertility. I remember that day breaking down and questing everything: my life, my faith, and my well-being. What had I done to deserve this? Why me? Why was I the one suffering this insurmountable pain of not being able to have children? 

Little did I know one month {almost to the day} later, I would overcome infertility. I remember the day I found out I was pregnant like it was yesterday. Sitting on my bathroom floor looking at not one but 17 positive pregnancy tests. My prayers had been answered after much heartache. 

I share this story to remind others you are not alone when it comes to infertility. There are thousands of women who face this gut-wrenching experience. But there are also thousands of women who overcome. I am a living testimony of overcoming the odds and defeating what science originally tested.  

I also share this story to remind others to be careful when you ask others “when are you having another child?” Because you never know what they endured to receive the child they already have. Many will answer the question with a simple ” when the time is right.”, but this question is a constant reminder of the pain and path it took to even have one child. 

Can you relate? Have you battled infertility? Share your story with us.

 

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2 Responses to Infertility: When You’re Told Children Aren’t an Option

  1. Kari November 6, 2017 at 10:31 pm #

    My husband and I have been dealing with secondary infertility for five years, and the sheer amount of people who don’t understand or *believe in* it is absolutely incredible. Yes, believe in it. Like it’s Santa Claus. I’ve been told we just need to “try harder”, asked if we know what we need to do to have a baby (*wink*), been on the receiving end of so many direct sales pitches, have had people tell *our son* that we need to give him a little brother/sister… It’s insane. My personal favorite are the people who will tell us, “You need to have another baby!” and then, once they find out we’ve been trying, turn right around and call us selfish for continuing to try. I’m not even sure how the mental gymnastics work on that one.

    The holidays are the worst for the baby questions, and I will think of you as we go through these upcoming months. Sending preemptive hugs your way. <3

  2. lacieyross November 14, 2017 at 8:38 pm #

    Unfortunately, many people do not understand the heartache infertility can cause. Being told many of the above statements you have made make the situation hurt that much more. I will pray for you and your journey. Hang in there, you are stronger than you believe. Always remember you are not battling this alone.